Blog Writing 101

So it seems that lately I have had a bit of writers block. Obviously I have not made enough bad decisions to have some thing interesting to write about.  Seems out of character.

So I wondered what Google had to say about interesting blogging material. I found a blog topic generator for those of you who cannot work out what to write about yourselves! This is the wonderful site if you need some inspiration. 

I found these gems...

1. Write a short post (50 words or less).
Why couldn't I think of this myself?! Oh wait. Get screwed website.  This isn't a suggestion for a topic to write about this is what you should do once you get your shit sorted and know what you want to write about already.  I hope your other suggestions are better than this one...

2. What's in your bellybutton right now? 
A carrot. I am kidding. Probably. The truth is that 99.9% of people will have nothing in their bellybutton unless there is something like this blog generator to prompt them to put something into it. And that 0.1% of people left over? Well they don't know they have to clean their bellybutton in the shower and have grit and/or fluff in it.  Gripping topic for a blog post.

3. Discuss a recurring dream.
This is the best idea!  Every morning I tell my boyfriend all about my amazing dreams and he is soooo into it he immediately falls asleep so he can experience them himself! My dreams are so interesting to everyone else!

4. Write a letter from your future self. 
Let me see if I got this right. I should write a letter to my future self, who will by then be my past self and WHAT. This makes zero sense.  Besides it would be boring anyway because if I had done it I would have already read it.  And I bet it sucked.

5. Explain why your mother should have apologized to you.
Coming soon! How the internet is the perfect counselor!  And why it is better to blog about your family problems than actually talking to people :D Next week, why my boyfriend should pack up his shit and move out!

6. Live blog an event.
Ok, let's give this one a go. I am sitting on my couch blogging.  My boob is itchy.  Ummm. Now I am drinking water.  I am thinking of killing myself from the boredom of blogging about nothing. Next week, where will I blog from next?? Will I even care!

7. 'Speculate what your life would have been if you were born in Algeria', and this gem 'What would it be like if you were a handicapped person'.
Just. No.

8. Top 10 products you use.
To be honest I don't use an awful lot of products, or any notable ones anyway.  I use a really interesting brand of dishwashing tablet and also this great brand of sanitary pads... not what they meant? Should have been more clear about it.

9. Write about your most boring evening ever. 
Actually I think I may already be onto this one already...

10. Write a blog about writing blogs.
Shit. Touche blog generator. Touche.

FINALLY: Write a poem. 
Write a blog they said
Yeah, it will be fun they said
I reply: fuck off.



Mission accomplished?