Some of you may recall that I have already written a post on spam in May. At the time of that post I decided to make things interesting. I disabled the spam blocker on my blogger account in the effort to attract more spam to deal with. Actually, to attract any spam, since the only ones I have had so far were from Kristen and Lac who are not actually spam-bots.
Spammers, what the hell? Not a single spam entry since I disabled my spam safety net. I know I am not the biggest blog... and in fact only have 18 people who follow me, but actually and very literally I AM BEGGING TO BE SPAMMED. It is an open invitation and so far I am having a party with just me and the tramadol laced inheritance cake. You will never get an easier target. I won't even delete your spam, and instead display it proudly for all to see.
About the same time as my spam filter disabling, the forum where I spend a lot of my time upped its spam measures and I now have not disapproved any spam since MAY. I am having withdrawals. I might even make one of the tags for this post 'spam me damn it'. Do you think that would work? Or saying words like Canadian Pharmacies and Viagra?
Spammers! Oh delightful morning on the Internet market. Why you ever need flaming language for best possible? Post here Canadian pharmacy and best cost only Tramadol without prescription! Freedom for posting and happy guarantee!
Please?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I am what I am from my childhood.
I think the reason I am such a strange character is clear from the stories of my childhood. I was never very normal or straightforward, which I think is pretty obvious once you see the finished product.
A prime example is of my sister's first birthday. I was almost four and getting into all sorts of trouble in my grandmother's sewing cupboard. At this stage I had just started sewing (But I still needed Grandma to thread the needle for me) and I wanted to make something to wear to her party. A little over ambitious? Probably. Likely to end up as an embarrassing photo for the whole wold to see? Most definitely. Unfortunately instead of going for a modest dress or a nice dress suit I went with a bikini. Why my parents allowed me to attend my sisters birthday party wearing a strip of fabric covering my nipples and a loin cloth I will never know.
Another issue of my childhood was that I was born without the instinct of stranger danger. While my little sister would eye people off and keep her cute little mouth closed I would be blabbing my head off to some poor unsuspecting stranger. To this day I have no concept of this very important survival instinct. On the upside it means that it is easy for me to meet people and make friends. On the downside it can get you into all kinds of trouble. I have had several people of the male persuasion think that my lack of stranger danger means they can follow me home or stalk me at work. I am slowly learning the importance of keeping my mouth zipped.
Being afraid of the dark is another throw back from my childhood. I know, Hambo the zombie slayer afraid of the dark? Don't ask me how or why, I just am. I am ok as long as I don't realise I am in the dark. Going to the toilet in the middle of the night is ok as long as my brain doesn't work. I remember being only about nine years old and totally freaking myself out. I had somehow convinced myself that there was a leopard in my room, crouching by my closed door just staring into my soul. I couldn't blink. In the end I managed to throw myself from my bed to my little sisters and fall asleep with her. When I woke up in the morning it turned out that the 'leopard' was actually my school bag and I was a giant sissy.
A prime example is of my sister's first birthday. I was almost four and getting into all sorts of trouble in my grandmother's sewing cupboard. At this stage I had just started sewing (But I still needed Grandma to thread the needle for me) and I wanted to make something to wear to her party. A little over ambitious? Probably. Likely to end up as an embarrassing photo for the whole wold to see? Most definitely. Unfortunately instead of going for a modest dress or a nice dress suit I went with a bikini. Why my parents allowed me to attend my sisters birthday party wearing a strip of fabric covering my nipples and a loin cloth I will never know.
 |
| Due to a lack of photographic evidence at this time this illustration will have to do. |
Being afraid of the dark is another throw back from my childhood. I know, Hambo the zombie slayer afraid of the dark? Don't ask me how or why, I just am. I am ok as long as I don't realise I am in the dark. Going to the toilet in the middle of the night is ok as long as my brain doesn't work. I remember being only about nine years old and totally freaking myself out. I had somehow convinced myself that there was a leopard in my room, crouching by my closed door just staring into my soul. I couldn't blink. In the end I managed to throw myself from my bed to my little sisters and fall asleep with her. When I woke up in the morning it turned out that the 'leopard' was actually my school bag and I was a giant sissy.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Dream Job?
As some of you may know, I am about to graduate from a Bachelor of Nursing. This is pretty freaking awesome and I can't wait to be freed from the shackles of student oppression and be freed into the paid workforce. People ask me if I have always wanted to be a nurse and if it is my dream job.
Let me start by saying that I didn't realise I wanted to be a nurse until recently. Looking back it all makes so much sense, but that is the beauty of hindsight. HOWEVER. Nursing is not my dream job. Who in their right mind would think: 'Yes. It has everything I could ever want in a job!' Don't get me wrong. I totally love it. The satisfaction and happiness I get from the care I give people when they need it most makes my heart sing. But who in their right mind is totally happy that they have to deal with every gross bodily waste known to man? There are at least 5 jobs I would rather do instead of nursing.
'Why,' I hear you ask 'Don't you pursue those dream jobs?' Because real dream jobs don't actually give you any money and, in reality, they are probably things you would end up paying someone so you could do it. Here is my list of top five jobs I would do if it were possible. I don't think it will take you very long to realise why no one would pay me a wage to do these...
1. Professional At-Home Sleeper
If someone paid me to sleep I would be a millionaire in no time. I am the kind of person that can sleep anywhere, anytime. I have slept through new year's parties (with no alcohol involved. I once fell asleep halfway up the stairs (some alcohol may have been involved...). I once had a nap where my torso was on the couch and the bottom half of me on the floor... You get the point.
2. Casual Cake Taster
The reason it says casual is so I can choose my own hours and cut them back when I start to put on the cake inner tube. Imagine the kinds of cake I could eat... *drools* Piece of cake.
3. Dog and Cat Snuggler
Does your beautiful pooch or sweet kitty need an extra cuddle during the day? I am totally your person. Also available for rat snuggling. Grumpy owners and animals with attitude need not hire me.
4. Zombie extra
Do I even need to need to list why this would be awesome?
5. Video Game Tester
As long as I don't have to test kids video games like Dora the Explorer or some rubbish I could do this full time plus. I would never need to leave the house! Sunlight? I don't need that, I have vitamin D pills.
Any of these jobs would be great. I could even do them part-time after I finish my nursing shifts. Actually, you don't even need to pay me.
Let me start by saying that I didn't realise I wanted to be a nurse until recently. Looking back it all makes so much sense, but that is the beauty of hindsight. HOWEVER. Nursing is not my dream job. Who in their right mind would think: 'Yes. It has everything I could ever want in a job!' Don't get me wrong. I totally love it. The satisfaction and happiness I get from the care I give people when they need it most makes my heart sing. But who in their right mind is totally happy that they have to deal with every gross bodily waste known to man? There are at least 5 jobs I would rather do instead of nursing.
'Why,' I hear you ask 'Don't you pursue those dream jobs?' Because real dream jobs don't actually give you any money and, in reality, they are probably things you would end up paying someone so you could do it. Here is my list of top five jobs I would do if it were possible. I don't think it will take you very long to realise why no one would pay me a wage to do these...
1. Professional At-Home Sleeper
If someone paid me to sleep I would be a millionaire in no time. I am the kind of person that can sleep anywhere, anytime. I have slept through new year's parties (with no alcohol involved. I once fell asleep halfway up the stairs (some alcohol may have been involved...). I once had a nap where my torso was on the couch and the bottom half of me on the floor... You get the point.
2. Casual Cake Taster
The reason it says casual is so I can choose my own hours and cut them back when I start to put on the cake inner tube. Imagine the kinds of cake I could eat... *drools* Piece of cake.
3. Dog and Cat Snuggler
Does your beautiful pooch or sweet kitty need an extra cuddle during the day? I am totally your person. Also available for rat snuggling. Grumpy owners and animals with attitude need not hire me.
4. Zombie extra
Do I even need to need to list why this would be awesome?
5. Video Game Tester
As long as I don't have to test kids video games like Dora the Explorer or some rubbish I could do this full time plus. I would never need to leave the house! Sunlight? I don't need that, I have vitamin D pills.
Any of these jobs would be great. I could even do them part-time after I finish my nursing shifts. Actually, you don't even need to pay me.
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