Faulty Computer Brain

Sometimes my brain is like a computer.  Not a flash high speed gizmo one, more like the one my family owned in the late nineties.  I say this for many reasons.  For instance, it took about twenty minutes to boot up and that is how long I spend staring at the mirror in the morning before I can even think of getting ready.  To install anything new you had to trowel through My Documents and delete half a dozen things to make room: I can only hold a certain amount of information before my brain deletes 'unimportant' information such as how to navigate home or boil an egg.

One day I had a major computer brain malfunction.  I mean, there is never a day where it doesn't have to be 'rebooted'.  But this was a major glitch.

It all started with my boyfriends Landscape Architecture assignment.  It was due the next day and, to make sure he didn't give up and go to bed, I stayed up with him all night and helped him.  I was cutting out mini trees and holding freshly glued cardboard in place until 2.30 am.  By the time I got to bed and went to sleep it was about 3.30 am.  I was stuffed.  I slept like a log.

Until 6.30 am, when I had to get up for uni.  At this stage work and uni were crazy.  I was working 7 day weeks, starting work at 5am every Saturday and Sunday morning.  I felt like I never slept, but 3 hours was a new record.  I dragged myself out of bed, stared at the mirror for twice the normal amount of time.  I don't even remember how I got dressed, it is all a blur.  The same goes for how I managed to drive myself to uni.

This day was a pretty boring one.  For uni one day a week we had to go to the teaching hospital to learn some practical skills.  This day was particularly boring, I almost went to sleep a dozen times but somehow I managed to make it through.  We were in the last part of the days class, talking about a crappy part of assessment.  it was basically the same ridiculous assignment we had just done but even harder.  I hated it.  It was a stupid assignment and everyone knew it, even our clinical facilitator.  I decided to express my dislike for the assessment.

So I said, 'It sucks peanuts'.

Brain: That doesn't even make sense. Who would suck peanuts? I think you actually meant something else.

So what I actually said was: THAT SUCKS PENIS.

In front of the whole class and the clinical lecturer.

Goddamn crappy auto correct...

I think my brain requires a major upgrade.