A Top Ten Worth Reading.

It has come to my attention that the Internet is full of people giving advice when they are evidently not qualified to do so.  My boyfriend and I are looking into fun things to do in Brisbane and interesting ways to meet new people.  Most people who write advice for this topic obviously have never had to do any of these things as evidenced by this website.  Really? 'Get a Dog and Walk Everywhere: go to parks and the beach with your dog. Dogs are great people meeters!' or my personal favourite 'Go to Flea Markets and Antique Shows: While you're browsing the finds, you can people watch.'  I'm pretty sure I wasn't looking for 'How to stalk and rape people'...

Another website tells me about the Top Ten Things To Do In October.  I never realised October was such a boring month.  I mean sure, they all have some relevance to October in some way but COME ON.  Eat a vegetarian meal? They could at least make it interesting.  Maybe something like 'Eat your body weight in vegetarian lasagna and falafels and then bask naked in the sun outside your local meat works'.

This has led me to making my own Top Ten Things To Do In October.  I feel I am more than qualified to give this advice because, not only am I not a massive douche bag, I also actually do things. 

1. Commit a serious crime, like armed robbery or grand theft auto.  It is difficult, hell, almost impossible not to meet people when you are in prison.  And if you are pretty you will make twice the friends!

2. Become a stalker! You get to meet who ever you want, whenever you want! If Mohammad won't
 come to the mountain...

3.  Have puppies in your van/basement.

Ok. Now the fun ones are over it is time for the real advice. I really hope people read this far before first taking action....

1.  Go to a Zombie Walk.  If where you live doesn't have one, create one! Get a group of friends together and get all gored up.  Just make sure that if you are doing it in a large group that you have police permission.  It's no fun being a Zombie in handcuffs.  Or is it... 

2. Celebrate Halloween.  Even if you don't have your own party or invites to a friends, there are plenty of ways to celebrate All Hallows Eve just the same.  Movie World has a cool night where people come along all dressed up to scare and entertain those not game enough to suit up. There is even a street party for people to go to if they live in Brisbane.  Some advice though, if you are going alone try not to dress up as an evil clown or an equally pedophile-looking character...

3.  What is October known for apart from Halloween? If you don't know this one you really do need to get out more.  OKTOBERFEST!  So get your lederhosen on and a couple of friends, or even go on your own (drunks are always friendly!) and eat drink and be merry!  It's festivals like this that have people talking to complete strangers just because they like your look of your dirndl.

4.  Go to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary.  No punch line in this one. Koalas are just too damn cute. Plus they have an adorable fat platypus, some awesome Tassie devils and wildlife EVERYWHERE.

5.  Get your ass down to EB Expo.  It is a weekend of fantasy for gamers.  Try out new games, get involved in the cosplay and god knows what else in this orgasmic event for nerd.  I know I have my ticket!

6.  Go paintballing.  This is the perfect time of year to go paintballing, before it gets too hot and after it is so cold that your fingers become a casualty to frost bite.  This is the one I have been to a few times and it is pretty kick ass.

7.  See Bear Grylls live on stage!  Although this show would probably have the same level of 'danger' as his real shows, I imagine he would be quite entertaining.  Having said that, if he didn't eat at least 3 things on stage that I could find under a rock in my back yard, I would not be impressed.

8.  If you are more into comedy and less into eating spiders and snakes, maybe you might like to see Carl Barron Live? As far as Australian stand-up is concerned he is definitely one to see.  If only to check if his head really does resemble a bobble head toy.  For me, that just adds to his charm...

9.  Do something crazy.  One of my friends got dressed up like the Ghostbusters crew with a few of his friends, ran around Southbank chasing a ghost and filmed it.  Sounds ridiculous but they had the most fun and people at Southbank thought they were pretty cool. Just make sure if you are doing something out there like this that you do not use life like guns or bring replica swords along.  Apparently the police don't really like that.

10.  Eat your own body weight in Pancakes.  The Pancake Manor is the perfect place to do this. I put this as number ten partly because I had nothing left and partly because it gives me free reign to eat a bazillion pancakes.

I hope you found this more helpful than the average crappy Things To Do page.  Now excuse me while I go off to eat pancakes, shoot people and scare small children.